The Five Love Languages
I speak from the heart when I say that I am a much better communicator with the children in my pediatric practice than I am with my own children.  When I suggest healthy lifestyle changes to a ‘tweenager' in the office, I love to see the light bulb come on and know that I've motivated some meaningful change.  When I use those same ideas at home...you can imagine the eye rolling! 

I sometimes ask my patients, "Do your parents love you?  How do you know?"  The list is surprisingly long: the things they say about you. But one thing is certain: knowing that there is a loving caregiver in a child's life is as important as nourishing food and a good night's sleep.  The physical health of our children is intimately connected to their emotional well being.  So the point of this week's DrDownload is to ask you to dose your children with a big teaspoon full of love, delivered in the language they understand best.

Parents love their children, but how do we communicate that love?  Dr.Gary Chapman is a nationally known lecturer whose career has been committed to teaching effective communication skills, and he says that there are five different ways, five 'love languages.'  Children often speak and understand one or two of those languages better than others, and he gives examples in his book. 

 

One of my children truly understands love when you do something for him, whether it's stopping to tie a shoe (when he can do it for himself) or driving carpool for the ball game.  One is a child to whom words of affirmation are so profoundly meaningful.  We share a book where we write to one another and leave it under the bed pillow.  (You might guess that this is an easy language for me to speak!)  One child is a "gift" lover.  Any gift, however small, is received as a huge gesture of love. In his case, I had to learn to better speak this language.  I became more aware of how importantlyt spoke to my son and that I need not worry overly about fostering an overly materialistic perspective.

So how do your kids hear that you love them?  Check out Dr. Chapman's book for an easy read and a great new perspective about communication.  Our healthiest moments come when we can connect with our children and share how much we truly love them.  What are you waiting for??

 

 

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